The Art of Holding Space:
A Guide for Heart-Led Facilitators
What to Avoid When Holding Space – And What to Do Instead
Reflections from 15 Years of Teaching, Embodiment, and Energetic Space Holding
Over the past 15 years of teaching and holding space, I’ve learned that creating a safe, nurturing, and truly transformational environment is so much more than simply knowing your material. It’s an art form — one that combines
✨heart energy
✨nervous system wisdom
✨and deep respect for those who trust us enough to be guided.
“Souls communicate with souls in a subconscious level. We are entering an era — especially with the rise of AI — where people are going to crave real, soulful, human connection more than ever before. They will be drawn to those of us who lead from the heart. And who better to do that than the teachers, healers, space-holders, and visionaries?”
To save you some time, here are a few things I believe we should avoid in our classes, and what we might consider doing instead:
1.Avoid Imperatives. Invite Instead.
Phrases like “Close your eyes,” “Move your pelvis,” or “Sit down” can feel commanding to the nervous system. Instead, try softer, invitational language:
🕊️ “I invite you to close your eyes if that feels comfortable...”
🕊️ “You might want to explore this movement…”
🕊️ “Now could be a nice moment to sit if your body feels ready.”
2. Respect Energy Fields and Personal Space
In the beginning, avoid exercises that push for intimacy or closeness too soon. When sitting in a circle, allow everyone to find their own space. Our energetic bodies want to expand and take space — not contract. Once a feeling of trust and grounding has been established, deeper connection and closeness can unfold more organically.
3. Empower Quiet Autonomy
Let your students know from the beginning that they’re free to take care of their needs — like visiting the bathroom — without asking permission. Encourage them to bring a thermos and drink water often.
3. Mind the Atmosphere (Literally)
Clean, warm, uncluttered spaces are ideal. But go easy on strong scents — even natural essential oils. What smells divine to you might be overwhelming or even triggering for someone else.
4. Eyes Closed? Not Always Safe.
For many people, especially those with trauma histories, closing the eyes during meditation can feel unsafe. I’ve seen it many times. Offer options like:
🌿 “You’re welcome to close your eyes IF you feel comfortable…
🌿 If not, I invite you to soften your gaze by simply looking down to the floor.”
5. Begin with Orienting Techniques
Before going inward, help participants come into the here and now.
💫 Invite them to look around the room.
💫 Feel the gravity of their body in the surface they’re on.
💫 Notice the temperature of the air.
💫 Touch the floor, their skin, their clothing.
These simple tools help regulate the nervous system and build a sense of safety and presence in the moment.
6. The Floor is Your Friend
Encourage people to lie down and feel the weight of their body supported by the ground. Ask reflective questions:
🌍 “Can you allow yourself to be held by the ground — to really feel your weight melting down into it?
🌍 “What’s the temperature of the floor?”
🌍 “Is there a part of you that wants to stretch or move?
This brings people back into relationship with their bodies — not in a performative way, but in a deeply felt way.
7. Work with the felt sense
In embodiment, the felt sense is a compass. It guides movement, decision, healing, and presence. It’s how we let the body speak first, instead of the mind taking over. The felt sense is a subtle, inner awareness. It's not just noticing “I feel tension” or “my chest is tight,” but sensing the whole texture of your inner experience — sometimes before it even has words. It’s that moment when your body whispers something true, even before your mind understands.
As space holders, we want to guide people gently into this space — where insight and safety live not just in the head, but in the living body. And is a beautiful practice to do for ten minutes before tecahing dance or yoga. I believe that ying on the floor is a perfect place to meet the felt sense. The nervous system can soften, the inner noise quiets, and the subtle whispers of the body become louder.
You can use these words for a felt sense exploration:
Let the ground hold you completely.
Notice the weight of your body.
Now begin to listen — not with your ears, but with your inner body.
What sensation is here… waiting to be felt?
Is there a place that feels warm? Heavy?
A place that feels tight… or spacious?
Maybe something is moving… or maybe something feels still.
You don’t need to name it or fix it — just be with it.
Like you’re sitting beside a friend who doesn't need to speak.
Can you stay curious, even if it’s vague or unclear?
Now notice…
Is there a part of your body that wants your attention?
A place that wants to stretch… or be held… or simply be noticed?
What emotions live here, in this moment — not in the mind, but in the body?
Where do they live? What shape or color do they have?
Let whatever is here, be here.
No pressure. Just presence.
Just feeling your way, breath by breath.
8. Skip Eye-Gazing Exercises in the Beginning
While often used as a connection tool, prolonged eye contact can actually trigger a stress response. In the animal world, staring is associated with looking a threat or prey. I have noticed that many students feel discomfort with this practice, especially early on. Choose safer forms of connection until trust is built.
9. Language Is Energy — Speak with authenticity from the Body, Not Just the Mind
The way we speak matters — not only the words but also the tone, pace, and origin of our voice. Many facilitators speak from the head — fast, rushed, performative — as if they need to prove something. But what if you spoke from the pelvis, or the heart, or the belly?
✨ Try speaking as if your body is breathing the words out, not your mind pushing them forward.
✨ Pause often. Let silence be part of your language.
✨ Drop from performance into presence — the room feels it instantly.
10. Always Leave Space for Integration
Healing, insight, and transformation don’t happen in the moment of action — they happen in the space after. At the end of your session, workshop, or practice, create intentional moments for integration.
🌙 This could be lying in stillness, journaling, silent walking, or simply breathing together.
🌙 You might say: “Let your body digest this experience. No need to rush out of it. Let the session complete itself through you.”
And if there’s no time for shared integration, invite them to take a gentle walk afterward — without looking at their phone. Just a few minutes of presence can make all the difference in anchoring what they’ve received.
11. Balance Your Yin and Yang Energy
As a facilitator, one of the most sacred arts you’ll practice is the balance of feminine (yin) and masculine (yang) energy within yourself.
Your feminine energy is essential — especially in healing work. It’s the part of you that softens your voice, that moves with grace, that speaks from your heart rather than your head. It's the energy that holds deep compassion, intuition, and softness — a grounding presence that invites others to feel safe.
Let your hands move gently. Let your eyes hold warmth. Speak slowly, from your body — not to perform, but to connect.
But also honor the masculine within you. When you’re teaching, you're leading. You're holding a container. You need clarity, structure, discernment. In that moment, you are in your yang — guiding the flow, reading the room, adjusting timing, and making decisions.
Your students are usually in a yin state — open, passive, receptive. So your role is to balance both within you: the clarity of the masculine with the softness of the feminine.
It’s a sacred dance — and the more you practice it, the more powerful and safe your space becomes.
12. Acknowledge the Sacred Exchange and express your gratitude.
At the end of your session, offer a true, heartfelt thank you.
Not just for their presence, but for their energy — and the energy they’ve returned to you in the form of trust, attention, and yes — money. Money is energy. When someone chooses to invest in your work, they’re offering part of their life force to you.
Honor it. Say thank you from your heart.
We are entering an era — especially in the rise of AI — where people are going to crave real, soulful, human connection more than ever before. They will be drawn to those of us who lead from the heart.
And who better to do that than the teachers, healers, space-holders, and visionaries?
If you’re holding space, you’re doing sacred work. Let it be infused with love, awareness, and the deep wisdom of embodied experience.
Steal My Closing Words — I wrote these to end my classes with heart. You're welcome to use them to end your own classes and sessions.
Thank you for honoring yourselves and showing up today — for your own healing, and for the shared energy of this group.
Thank you for honoring me as your guide. It’s a deep privilege to hold space for you.
Thank you, Universe, for allowing us to receive this medicine.
We feel grateful for the opportunity to pause, to return to ourselves, and to find a moment of peace in the midst of the chaos.
As we leave this space, may we carry the light we’ve touched here within us. May we offer it gently to others, through presence, through kindness, through small everyday acts.
May we continue to nurture our inner goddess — with tenderness, with reverence, with care.
And may our intentions ripple outward —
that all beings may know peace,
that all life may feel held and united,
that love may move freely in and through us.
What to Avoid When Holding Space – And What to Do Instead
